Reconnecting With Yourself Through Individual Counselling
In this era of abundance, we are often living with low-level chronic stress. Never have we had so much choice, but at the same time there is so much going on in our lives that it’s hard to relax. Sometimes the prospect of finding joy in the chaos feels impossible! While we are constantly connected to information and others through technology, social isolation and loneliness are increasing in Australia. Depression and anxiety are some of the ways in which this stress and discontent can manifest within us. The thought of changing the world we live in feels insurmountable, but what we do have control over is ourselves. Counselling services can support individuals to discover new perspectives, develop strategies and reach goals that align with what’s important to you!
A Systems Approach
We do not live in a vacuum. As a counsellor, I always consider my clients in the context of the systems they are a part of. Whether that is their family system, friendship circles, work or other organisations they function within. So, individual counselling is a way to reconnect with yourself, but often relationships with others will come up in conversations and a systems approach to therapy helps. This might entail questions about how you get along with the people in your life, or inviting more neutral reflections on how you respond and react to others. In the end, whether we seek counselling services for ourselves, as a couple or as a family, it is important that we don’t rely on what someone else is doing to improve our own wellbeing. Once we reconnect with ourselves through counselling, it can often have a ripple effect that improves our functioning within whatever groups we find ourselves in. At best, this also leads to positive changes in those who are close to us!
Self-Growth Through Counselling
Sometimes the way we feel can be improved by giving more attention to the general foundations of health and wellbeing. Movement, what we put into our bodies and the quality of our sleep can all impact our mental health in important ways. Individual counselling can support people to make changes that align with their values and goals. These changes can lead to self-growth: like more energy to tackle challenging transitions, increased physical health when a negative habit is getting in the way of wellbeing or increased physical strength that leads to confidence. We often want change, but change is hard and we humans are very good at perpetuating barriers to what we want! Understanding the stages of change can be a start to moving in the right direction. A counsellor can help meet you where you are and, through conversations which highlight your own values and goals, can lead you to discover strengths and resources you didn’t know you already had. So, individual counselling is a way to explore any changes you feel you might need to make, to enjoy life more.
Couples Counselling Sydney
Relationships are the cornerstone of our wellbeing. Many of the mental health challenges we have, occur because of negative patterns in our relationships. Those closest to us are often the ones who activate us the most. When stressful events happen, things might seem to worsen in our relationships. These are normal feelings. When people are reliant on their family (eg. when they are babies, children or young adults), problems arise with parents and siblings because that is often a safe space to let down our guard. The same is true for couples in loving relationships. Just because we sometimes spiral into uncomfortable and heated negative patterns, this does not mean that hope is lost. It is because our partner is the person we rely on the most, that we fall into automatic responses to each other which are unhelpful. Does this ring a bell? If it does, then couples counselling might be for you if you are both ready. It is also possible to work on these close relationships as an individual, if your partner is not yet ready to dive into couples counselling. Understanding ourselves better can lead to better understanding those close to us, too. Even small, positive shifts within ourselves can lead to growth in our relationships.
Emotion Focused Therapy for Individuals
Many of us have not been brought up to understand or express our emotions openly. If you were, lucky you! This doesn’t happen because the people who raised us were not doing their best and I’m not saying this so that we lay blame because that’s unhelpful. But, suppressing emotions begins early. Like when as a child we feel sad and our caring adults try to distract us from what we’re experiencing or tell us that ‘it’s OK’ when that’s not what it feels like! In these micro-moments, we begin to separate from what we feel. This is not to say that we should exaggerate and wallow in feeling sad with our children, but that’s a topic for another day. The point is, that emotion focused therapy can help us access our emotional experiences to make sense of them. Our emotions actually carry a lot of information about our needs and values, so if we suppress them it’s hard to find healing. Becoming more aware of how we feel can help us respond in ways that are useful and authentic, rather than staying stuck in maladaptive responses born out of feelings of shame or worthlessness. A therapist can help to slow things down, so that we learn to respond to others in our lives thoughtfully. Life is better when we can tune into our emotions, rather than pushing them aside.
Nervous Systems
When life feels overwhelming it’s not just ‘in your head’, it’s in your nervous system! Our nervous system can get stuck in stress mode leaving us feeling anxious, shut down or reactive. Our nervous system is designed to protect us. It can move us into fight or flight when we perceive danger because we need to ‘do’ something to get back to safety. It can also cause us to shut down when things feel too much and we don’t feel there’s any way out. This is natural and necessary, but sometimes our nervous system can act like an over-sensitive smoke alarm. Your therapist can guide you to notice what’s happening in your body and help you find ways to regulate your nervous system. This might include grounding techniques, breath work, gentle movement or simply slowing down together in the session. Over time, you’ll learn how to move back into a state where you feel calmer, more open and better able to connect with yourself and others.